Saving Uncle Paddy

“Mr and Mrs Bland had agreed that this meant ‘cheese’ so they passed him a good helping of Cheddar. Payment was neither offered nor requested. Like most grownups at that time Mr and Mrs Bland guessed what Old Turnip had been through and its catastrophic effect on his psyche.”

Excerpt from Hooke's Prism

“Unfortunately the younger twin, Pushkin Skrubadov, was blown up by a bomb during a negotiation with a sister bank. There were inevitable rumours that the bomb was planted by Tolstoy Skrubadov because it was his dream to be sole President.”

Excerpt from Book of Names

“Meanwhile at the Conference Centre – ordinarily Potsdam’s Cecilienhof Palace and a princely monument that happily escaped the interventions of the Royal Air Force – a guard had to deal with yet another bunch of chancers who thought they could gate-crash the proceedings.”

Excerpt from Hooke's Prism

“In due course we passed a sign saying 'Welcome to Central Asia - please drive safely.' A second one was fixed lower down and executed by hand using spray paint. It said 'Trust in God, but tie up your camel.' I saw that, for better or worse, we were going in the right direction.”

Excerpt from Big Quiz Night

“‘Above all, we must guard against any incursion by outside interests. The mechanisms of History turn on delicate components, which, with the right skill set, are easily thrown off balance,’ said the KGB agent, who, confusingly, would in those days have been called a GRU agent.”

Excerpt from Hooke's Prism

“Two Manchester United supporters had a few beers and decided to walk home after an away game at Tibet's Kham stadium. The dervish rescued them and showed them the right path both spiritually and geographically. From that moment they supported Manchester City.”

Excerpt from Book of Names

“Most of us had read his autobiography 'How I Got So Rich and Successful.' But as Sir Tristan Dashing began his account in the mellow, well-modulated voice for which he was justly famous, we saw how everything in his life led to this moment, to the tournament at Merv, and the asking of the Ultimate Question.”

Excerpt from Big Quiz Night

“‘I think we may dispense with the formalities,’ proposed the Man from Liaison. His voice, too, was colourless. In effect he was probably the most colourless person the operative had ever seen. When he said something, it was impossible to tell whether or not he intended it as ironic.”

Excerpt from Hooke's Prism

“'I think there are dimensions to this affair we still do not fully understand.The present is nothing but the tip of a huge iceberg we call the past, on which the penguin of human happiness balances only precariously.'”

Excerpt from Book of Names

“My thoughts strayed once again to the scrawl we salvaged from Old Turnip’s house, which we always felt meant something, although we did not know what. Perhaps, I told my brother, the rambling pages of the ex-operative’s memoir deserved another look.”

Excerpt from Hooke's Prism

“Evidently, since none of us had ever gone looking for a witch before, and certainly not one as notorious as Baba Yaga, we needed outside expertise. in the end Owen Cohen was able to find a suitable team of Albanian witch hunters who were currently touring this region.”

Excerpt from Big Quiz Night